When I taught about the Electoral College, I told them about the 2000 election and this same student after class asked if when Bush won, he had ‘bad things happen to Gore.’ I believe she meant did he send thugs to rough Gore up? I had to explain to her that our Presidents 1) wouldn’t want to do that because there’s no benefit to doing such a thing and they have more important things to tend to, 2) couldn’t get away with doing such things because we’d impeach them, and 3) aren’t as powerful as she thinks because of term limits and checks and balances. But I think her question is very telling of Turkmen impressions of their own president and government.
I was most surprised that I was surprised by her questions. After a year here, I should be used to the idea that the government here is repressive and has all sorts of human rights violations. But it still catches me off guard.
Another thing that shouldn’t surprise me but did was an encounter I had with my host sister the other day while I fixed myself some lunch. She’s gotten more attached to me lately and always wants to hang out which is flattering but also a little exhausting and annoying at times. Anyway, she watched me as I prepared toad in the hole. I cut out my holes in the bread and she admonished me to eat the hole fillings. I said I didn’t need them. She said I had to eat it because Allah was watching. I told her it didn’t matter to Allah. She raised a big fuss about it until I told her she could eat it and when she didn’t, I reminded her that the TV was on and she should watch it. I’ve written about the sacredness of bread here, but I thought that was Turkmen bread, the flat round or oval bread made in tamdyrs and didn’t extend to loaves of Russian bread, which is what I naturally use for toad in the hole. I also didn’t have my host family pegged for traditional Turkmen who took the bread thing seriously. I’ve never seen them dispose of bread crumbs in the typical Turkmen way, though that’s probably just as much because they don’t sit to normal family dinners.
I get frustrated with things like that because they are silly to me. I can respect regular Islam and someone’s choice not to drink alcohol or eat pork because it is written in holy scripture and there’s a practical essence to them. (Many theologians believe the dietary restrictions of the Old Testament are born out of the practicality that back before refrigeration, etc. some foods were more dangerous to eat than others). And I can respect that Catholics think the Eucharist literally becomes Christ’s blood and body, because it’s part of religious ritual. But to ascribe holiness to an everyday food that is not holy in scriptures and to have rules so strict as to prescribe a “proper” disposal of bread crumbs is silly to me. Still, I don’t tell Turkmen their ideas are silly, but I also expect the same courtesy concerning mine. If I eat with a Turkmen family, I treat their bread as they do. If I bought the bread for meals that I cook for myself, I can use it as I please. I know that Leyla doesn’t know any better so I don’t hold it against her, but there are Turkmen here who are rude about forcing their beliefs on others.
One day when Lindsay and I were guesting at a student’s house, her neighbor came over and chastised us for not praying the Muslim prayer after eating when everyone else did. We were quiet and respectful but didn’t make the prayer motion when they did. Lindsay tried to explain to her that we’re not Muslim and the woman replied “but you’re in Turkmenistan, you should do the prayer.” We were tempted to cross ourselves. And if I’d known Turkmen fluently I probably would have said something rude like, “if you’re so religious, tell me the five pillars of Islam,” because I’d bet my right arm she doesn’t know them. Their self-righteousness wouldn’t bother me so much if they were real Muslims.
I should stress this is not an everyday occurrence. I don’t have people always telling me to be more Turkmen or more Russian or somehow change who I am. But it happens. Sometimes it’s that I should wear Turkmen koyneks, sometimes that I should learn Russian, sometimes that I shouldn’t drink cold beverages (because they think it will make you sick). Back with my old host family it was that I shouldn’t be an introvert.
Yes, even after a year, it’s still hard being an American here because the values of independence and diversity are so ingrained in me, such a permanent part of who I am, and it goes against the Turkmen culture.