I was surprised by the accusation because I thought I’d done a good job of acknowledging the good men in my life here on my blog, (see, for example, “Heritage” from January 11, 2013). Plus, anyone who knows me knows I actually often prefer the company of guys. So in an effort to promote goodwill and harmony, this is a post about some of the great guys I’ve known.
My Brothers- As a kid, I idolized my brothers. Even though a decade separated us, they still played with me. They’d put me in a blanket, swing it like a hammock and throw me on the sofa. Jason taught me Monopoly strategies and how to count money. He also tried to teach me algebra the summer before 5th grade when I just wanted to go outside and play. I played trumpet because he did. Aaron has provided counsel in some of my darkest times. Perhaps my favorite anecdote about him is the time I called from Nevada to talk about a person who had wronged me and he offered to “go out there and break some thumbs,” which is really sweet if you know Aaron, because he’s the most laid back, peaceful person. I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up without sibling rivalry and fighting. We all love each other and want what’s best for each other.
Guys I’ve Dated- Two of my exes also happen to be two of the kindest people I know. Each of them was supportive and made me feel at ease. They made me laugh and indulged me in things like going to museums. And they each introduced me to new things, too, like Henry Rollins.
Fellow Staff at DHS- I worked with a lot of great guys in Nevada. My administrators were really supportive and I always felt like they had my back. Some fellow teachers were great for conversation during lunch. One of the math guys nicknamed me “M Squared,” which I love. And Rob, who I coached track with, did World Wise Schools with me and invited me to come back to speak to his classes about Turkmenistan.
Fellow Peace Corps Volunteers- The Anew guys played ultimate Frisbee with me every Sunday and made training bearable. They urged our female LCF toward liberation as much as I did. Andy was nearly a site mate and made me look forward to the weekends when he’d visit. Working with him on Murphy’s Law Review was usually the highlight of my week. I didn’t let him see it, but I cried when he left the country.
Facebook Pals- I disagree with many of my facebook pals on various issues. There are a few guys in my feed who have disagreed with me quite vocally recently. Yet, they remain my facebook friends. I’ve been defriended by at least two women who, I’m assuming, didn’t like some of my political posts. Shame on them. And good on my friends (both guys and girls) who realize that disagreement doesn’t have to mean the end of friendship.
I want to make it clear that when I call myself a feminist and make feminist arguments, I don’t have a problem with men. I have a problem with sexism. I know lots of guys who are not sexist and I know some girls who are. To all the men who ever debated me, played sports with me without taking it easy on me, deferred to my expertise on something, quoted Monty Python or the Simpsons with me, asked to read my writing, cooked with me, traveled with me, introduced me to one of your passions, welcomed me into your group, or listened to me: Thank You.