It should be no surprise to my readers by now that I’m a Christian and I take my faith seriously. Some of you may not know that I was a youth pastor for five years and have preached Sunday morning sermons in multiple churches. Unfortunately, it seems that there is a pattern throughout history of strong female spiritual leaders (the kind that go down in the annals of history) remaining single.
Joan of Arc, who was a paragon of strength, a literal warrior for God, never married. Mother Teresa, single. Aimee Semple McPherson, who founded the Foursquare Church, died alone. Ok, Aimee wasn’t perfect, but neither is Jimmy Swaggart or Ted Haggard, but both have wives who stood by them. Aimee’s husband abandoned her when she went into the ministry.
Every famous Christian female leader I can think of who is married, caters to women. Elizabeth Eliot wrote books for women. Beth Moore speaks at women’s conferences. But women who lead both sexes tend to be single. So I ask myself, why is this? Does marriage hold women back from greatness? I’m not sure I agree with that; it doesn’t gel with my view of marriage as a partnership in which each person helps the other become better. So what is it? Do these women intimidate men so much that they have no prospects? Are men jealous of the relationship these women have with God, not wanting to take second place? Do men view these women as unfeminine or uppity, doing things they oughtn’t instead of baking cookies for the church bazaar and teaching kids “Father Abraham?”
Certainly there’s some truth to the last question, as some church denominations still teach that women can’t hold positions of leadership in the church. Coming from a church that has always allowed female preachers from its inception in the mid 19th century (nearly half a century before our country gave women the right to vote), I have a litany of Bible passages I can throw at them, and arguments against the Pauline verses they’d throw at me. (If you look at the Bible holistically, it’s feminist.)
But that only accounts for some denominations. I fear that even in more “liberal” churches, the stereotypes of male as eloquent, passionate, knowledgeable speaker and female as nurturing supporter of said speaker still prevail. After all, those of us in the church all know what the pastor’s wife “looks like.” She is soft spoken and kind and teaches little children in Sunday School and takes chicken noodle soup to shut-ins. But what does the pastor’s husband “look like?” Can we picture him doing the same things without emasculating him? Why would he have to do the same things? And in reality, we’ve probably known pastor’s wives who don’t fit that stereotype, so why are we so hesitant to let go of other stereotypes we have?
So, dear readers, any thoughts?