When I was in youth, our leaders once asked what the coolest thing about Jesus was. I answered, “his hair.” Of course I knew the “right” answer, but I thought my answer was funnier, and if we’re honest, Jesus does have nice hair. This kind of response tends to exasperate youth leaders because they want to know they’re helping mold people of strong faith, not smartasses. The problem is that many Christians view the two as mutually exclusive. Our youth group did have that golden girl who always gave the right answers and spoke with churchy goodness. Unfortunately her actions didn’t match her words, and she got herself into some trouble later on.
I take my faith very seriously. That’s why I joke around a lot. Because when you’re wrestling with deep spiritual matters, you need that balance. God gave me the gift of sarcasm; I’m not going to hide it under a bushel. I think God laughs when I say bacon is the official meat of Christianity, because He knows my heart. He knows that what’s behind that joke is my appreciation of His inclusion of all people in His plan of salvation, even people like me with an addiction to processed, nitrate-laden pork.
Among some Christians I have met, the behavior they expect from other Christians is very prim and proper. No swearing, no talking about sex, no joking about Jesus’ hair or bacon being one of the best things about Christianity. Furthermore, if you’re not talking about the Bible or prayer all the time, they have their suspicions about your spiritual well-being. People like me confound them because my faith runs deep, but there I am, being a smartass. And they are probably not going to witness certain aspects of my religious practice. For example, I don’t initiate prayer with other people. If other people ask me to pray with them, I will, but while I will ask certain people to pray for me, it doesn’t occur to me to ask them to pray with me. This is not because I lack spiritual maturity, but because prayer is very intimate to me.
When we have imprecatory Psalms, the ones where David asks God to break the jaws and teeth of his enemies, I think it’s safe to say God’s cool with us telling Him how we feel. Sometimes when you’re having a dark night of the soul, your heart doesn’t whimper “I don’t understand,” your heart screams expletives and God knows that. It is way better to trust God with your raw, true thoughts and feelings than to try to censor yourself before Him. Strong relationships are built on open and honest communication. The people I most trust and respect are the ones with whom that communication exists. If you can’t say those things to God, you will never have true relationship with Him. So my private prayers are very raw. For example, I take that “praying for your enemies” thing seriously because I know it’s really about asking God to change my heart. So prayers for my enemies often go something like this, “God, so-and-so is being a total [fill in the blank]. Help me to stop wanting to stab him in the throat. Also, help him to not be such a [fill in the blank]. But mostly help me to forgive him. I don’t feel like forgiving him, because he treated me like [fill in the blank], so change my heart and help me to see him the way You do.” I think I’ve already posted that sometimes my prayers involve me lying in the fetal position crying “why” or “help me” over and over again. We don’t have to approach God fully composed, kneeling by the bed, hands clasped with “now I lay me down” speech.
Because I can have that open communication with God, and Christians are supposed to be like “little Christs,” I expect my close relationships with other Christians to have a similar communication pattern. I expect to be able to express doubt or anger, to joke around, etc. If you can’t be honest and vulnerable with another Christian because you sense their judgment, that says way more about their spiritual well-being than yours. When I have to censor myself around someone, it creates a barrier of sorts that prevents a closeness of relationship that could otherwise develop.
Somber Christians make Jesus facepalm. (Matt. 6:16) This puritanical, often fundamentalist, Christian sub-culture is the new packaging of Pharisees. Besides trying to prove their holiness by speaking Christianese and gasping at spoken ‘damns,’ (while ignoring their damning attitudes), they also use “spirituality” to mask selfishness. I’m talking about when someone says, “I’ll pray about that,” but what they really mean is, “I don’t want to do that but I’m not brave enough to say it, so hopefully I can put you off for awhile and you’ll just find someone else.” Or when someone says, “I don’t feel God’s leading me to [fill in the blank]” When they mean “I don’t feel like [fill in the blank] because I’m too scared or lazy or whatever, but again I don’t want to admit it.” Guess what? I don’t feel God’s leading me to listen to your lame excuse and not call you out on it. God doesn’t actually “lead” people as much as some people seem to think. I don’t always have to pray before deciding which classes to take or whether to date someone or whether to sponsor a child through World Vision, etc. God created me with a brain capable of reasoning and expects me to use it, so I do. Please don’t misunderstand me. There are definitely circumstances wherein we must seek God’s will through prayer, and God definitely leads some people in some things; I just am wary of people who use His “leading” as an excuse for behavior that really originates from Self.
Don’t let people fool you into believing Christianity is tidy. It’s not a tallying of good deeds vs. bad or a pageant wherein you put on your best show for a panel of judges. It’s not oh-so-serious, you better not laugh. That might be “church” the way some people practice it. But it is not the Christian faith. Faith is messy; Christianity is hard. You will have doubts; you will sometimes swear when praying; you will need to be a smartass sometimes to get through periods of immense struggle. You will have to break a sweat. These things are all healthy. If you’re avoiding them because you think a Christian “looks” a certain way, you’ve misunderstood the faith.
This might be where you’re wondering what precipitated this post, because most of my posts are precipitated by something current in my life or in the news. I’ve had some raw prayer moments in the last few weeks, and I’ve also come to realize I have several people in my life with whom I can be my messy, raw, real self. When I am struggling with a Christian who, out of selfish motive, has the audacity to suggest I am anything other than serious about my faith, I am so incredibly thankful for those Christians I can go to and say, “hey, I’m going through this situation and I feel like [fill in the blank].” And I suspect there are some of you out there who feel like there’s something wrong with you for being a sweaty Christian. There’s not. Sweat on!