This night of the toy was also the second evening of my cousin’s period. Normally, my cousin and I will go for a walk (not a run, a walk) at the stadium in the evening if she’s not working. But Friday when I asked her she said she couldn’t because she started her period and it was too painful. Now, I know that some women have really painful periods. But I also know that Turkmen women are raised in a culture of frailty. It is normal and expected for them to complain of pain. [My counterpart would often go home early because she said the cold gave her pain in her kidneys (?)] I tried to explain to my cousin that regular exercise can help reduce menstrual pain, but I don’t think the idea stuck. It’s one of the cross-cultural differences that I don’t think anyone has talked about before. The truth is, it’s hard for me to hear women here complain about various pains because I come from what I’ll call a “Suck It Up, Sister” culture. Sure, you can say you have an ache, but you don’t miss work because of it. And your period is never considered a legitimate excuse for missing something. In America if someone complained about pain, I knew it was real, but here I don’t know what to take seriously. This is, after all, a country where medical professionals are telling people they had a stroke because they walked on snow. (True story.)
I will say that talking about periods made for interesting conversation with my cousin. I told her about the wonderfulness of tampons and that, no, using them doesn’t mean you’re not a virgin. I also told her about the fact that some women in America take birth control specifically because they have painful and/or heavy periods and that the pill helps. Now, I’m sure she could never get birth control here since she’s not married. Maybe if she went to the doctor with her mom (even though she’s 24), but even then, I don’t know. Meanwhile she’s taking some sort of painkilling drug and I’m really nervous about what it could be. I get the feeling it’s not a simple Tylenol. I’m sure there’s a really good reason Peace Corps tells us not to take any medicine here except what the PC doc gives us.
I also learned that you can’t go to mosque when you’re on your period. I wasn’t too surprised to hear this. Islam reverted to Old Testament dietary laws, why not readopt the sexist menstrual laws too? Just to clarify, my cousin was having problems with a co-worker a week back and her mom wanted to go to mosque to pray about it but couldn’t because she was menstruating at the time. I guess menstrual blood gets in the way of God’s hearing according to Islamic doctrine. Correct me if I’m wrong in this interpretation, and if so, explain this rule to me as it is understood for modern times when a menstruating woman doesn’t stink to high heaven like she would have in Old Testament times and we have sanitary products to use instead of rags so there’s no risk of actual ‘uncleanness.’
After this evening when I mused even more on gender in this country, I started to hear of worrisome things going on in my own country. This news that a representative in my home state was actually banned from speaking on the floor after she used the word ‘vagina’ is terribly upsetting to me, for multiple reasons. One, it was a blatant disregard of the First Amendment. Two, it sends the message that somehow, the word vagina is dirty and shameful. It’s the proper medical term; what would the Republicans have preferred “pussy?” “hoo-ha?” To stigmatize the medical term is to stigmatize the thing itself, which sends a powerful message to women everywhere that the thing that makes them women, the very thing from which these legislators were birthed, is something shameful. It is an outright attack on half of the population, sending the message ‘you are dirty; you are inferior; if you speak up for yourself, you will be silenced.’ I hope the entire legislature of Michigan is sued by the ACLU for its attack on free speech and its discrimination against women. I may not agree with Lisa Brown’s political views on abortion, but it is very scary to think that people in the U.S. can be silenced that way. I feel great shame for my state and am nervous that when I return to my homeland, I won’t recognize it. How can I rail against the lack of freedoms here, when ‘the land of the free’ is pulling this kind of stuff?