Now, I’m not getting down on Facebook. It’s a helpful tool in keeping up with some people. But it’s not a replacement for real communication. Back when I lived in America, I frequently felt with most of my relationships that I was doing more than my fair share of keeping the lines of communication open. I was the one who suggested doing something or the one who started up email missives. I was the one who threw parties (and I’m an introvert!) And almost always, the closest relationships were with people I saw every day not by choice. Either we lived in the same dorm or worked together. But once that was taken out of the equation, it seemed picking up a phone or typing a short email was beyond many former friends’ ability. Sure, I wasn’t perfect about keeping in touch, but at least I tried.
It’s even worse here. Some people could be lying in a coma for all I know and others who used to be best friends haven’t sent one communiqué; what I know about their lives I got from rare unblocked visits to Facebook, and the information was very hurtful to find out via Facebook as opposed to a letter or email. My Peace Corps experience has really helped illumine priorities, both mine and other people’s. I can’t spend a long time on the internet. It’s not free for me and I obviously don’t make an actual salary. Plus it’s not always working and some sites are blocked. But I do my best to email people and post on Facebook if I get the chance because I value relationships. I have a friend that I chat with pretty regularly and even though some days I don’t feel like chatting, I sign on anyway because I understand that relationships take work and investments of time, plus I greatly appreciate his willingness to put forth the effort on his end.
I want to thank my friends (and family) who share my view of relationships. The few who have stayed true in communicating with me while I’m over here. They could make the same excuses we all make. They’re busy with jobs or marriages or children or desperately seeking employment, but they still manage to scrounge up ten minutes to write me an email or drop a letter in the mail every once in a while. And I want to thank them for being patient with me when I’m not as timely with my returns as I’d like to be.