1. I’m thankful that I’m able to stay in contact with my Turkmen cousin via Facebook. From her I can hear how my mom and sister are doing and what’s going on in Balkanabat. I am really thankful for her friendship, perhaps even more now than when I was in Tstan because I realize how I benefit from having a Muslim friend. First of all, it’s important for us to understand that just as there is variety among Christians in terms of theology and practice, the same is true for Muslims, and the Muslims I met in Tstan, including Ramina, are different from the picture painted for us by our media. Second, Ramina has no theological training. It’s not like she went to an equivalent of Sunday school or was taught a catechism class. Yet her statements of faith demonstrate a faith in God that is unshakeable. When I recently went through a rough time, she emailed me and said, “I know God prepared the BEST” for you in the future.
2. I’m thankful that my church does not limit my opportunities to serve based on my gender. This no surprise to you, my faithful readers. But I continue to be thankful for my particular brand of religious upbringing because I continue to run into more and more people who had a different experience, and it jaded them. In my grad class, the majority view is that religion, especially Christianity, is harmful and false. While I dislike being put in those types of situations where I feel like I have to be the spokesperson for Christianity and shatter some people’s stereotypes, it is always a reminder of how fortunate I was to be taught a true form of following Jesus, not an oppressive, adulterated version.
3. I’m thankful that for all our differences, my family loves and supports each other. When things get serious, I can speak uncensored truth to my family members. Recently when I was sobbing in my mother’s arms, she told me “you have a lot of people who love you.” “I know,” I said, “it would just be nice to have someone who loves me and wants to f--- me.” I don’t usually use that kind of language, especially around my mom, but that’s what I was feeling in that very raw moment. And she simply replied, “I know.” I love that I could say that to my mom and that she responded with understanding. Similarly, my brother made himself available to me to talk things out and offer advice for my situation. On a day to day basis, he mostly tries to annoy me by contradicting things I post on Facebook, but when it boils down to it, I know that he loves me and I’m thankful for his presence in my life. I know that everyone in my immediate family has my back, as it were.
4. I’m thankful that God doesn’t give up on me. I have a feeling I annoy God sometimes with my lack of faith and my anger. But I also know that I can say anything to Him, that I can pray, ‘God, I am so angry right now and I don’t know anything else to say except I’m pissed and life sucks.’ Sometimes I have to pray ‘I want to want to be better,’ because I don’t even want to be better at that point, I’m too embroiled in my anger. But God changes my heart. He makes me capable of forgiveness, of healing, of starting over. He changes my perspective. He shows me how to bloom where I am planted. He is faithful even when I am not. I’m thankful that He gives me the strength to be emotionally generous and vulnerable when it goes against my inclination to protect myself by remaining cold and stoic.
5. I’m thankful for my students. They’re good kids and they make me laugh. A couple weeks ago, I thought about calling in sick one Friday for a mental health day. I was miserable, but I went to work because I needed the money, and I didn’t know what I’d do sitting home all day anyway. I’m glad I went. My students made me laugh even on that day. I’m really thankful for the unique opportunity this teaching assignment has been. What other teacher gets to go turkey hunting with a student or help herd sheep into a trailer to take to the shearer?
6. I’m thankful for the freedom to drive, for the ability to be out at any time of day by myself, the right to wear whatever I want, and the freedom to speak freely on my blog and in my life about my views. Women in countries like Saudi Arabia cannot do these things. I’m thankful for people like Malala Yousafzai, Benazir Bhutto, Leymah Gbowee, Aung Suu Kyi and so many others who continue to model the strength that women are capable of. And I’m thankful for feminist men in my life, like my dad and my cousin Sam, who supported and encouraged me.
7. I’m thankful for friends who are mature about conflict. Sometimes people drop you as a friend because you voted for a different person or because you posted on Facebook that people who claim to be Christians should stop saying hateful things about the poor. Sometimes people drop you because you had a falling out with a mutual friend. I’m so glad for friends who see my heart and don’t dismiss me because I have a few views that differ from theirs. And I’m thankful for friends like Amy, who didn’t choose sides when I went through a breakup even though she was friends with my boyfriend first. She ended up becoming one of my best friends in Nevada.
8. I’m thankful for Netflix, because let’s be honest, sometimes you just need to watch a few episodes of a show to escape the drudgery of life. Also, I had a lot of catching up to do from things I missed when I was in Tstan. Now I’m only moderately uninformed on pop culture from those two years of absence.
I’m also thankful for:
9. The smell of bacon cooking
10. My niece’s jokes
11. Stationery from Gwen Frostic’s
12. Deviled eggs
13. Vicar of Dibley episodes
14. The warmth on my skin when I sleep in a sunbeam
15. The songs on my “moody and ethereal” playlist
16. British accents
17. Chicken corn chowder
18. The squirrels in our backyard
19. The sound of crickets at night in the summer
20. Local theater
21. Access to clean water
22. Deciduous trees
23. Reese’s peanut butter cups
24. My teddy bear who has remained my most faithful companion since infancy
25. The ability to read
26. A safe place to live
27. My passport
28. My library cards
29. The fact that I have no food allergies
30. You, dear reader!